Experiencing the death of a loved one has a way of thrusting us into an Existential Crisis with the never-ending, mind blowing questions like:
What’s my purpose in life?
Why are we here?
Are we really even here?
Death and grief forces us to see the fragility of life and the inevitability of death. This is a normal, healthy part of the grieving process. This realization does something to us. It changes us.
The goal is to make sure it changes us for the better and not for the worse.
Appreciate life
Love harder
Be true to ourselves
Take nothing for granted
Live life to the fullest
This existential crisis can often lead to an enlightened, spiritual journey.
If this happens to you, follow your heart. Follow what your inner spiritual being is leading you towards. This could be meditation, yoga, a religious service, reading spiritual books, joining spiritual groups, or participating in events with like-minded people. Tap into this gift. It can lead us to freedom. Freedom from the limitations and restraints of the human world. It can help us believe in something much bigger than ourselves. It can help us know that we are never lost to the ones we love and they are never lost to us. We just change forms, similar to the element of water.
When I was grieving the death of someone I didn’t think I could live without, I began reading the book, “Change Your Thoughts Change Your Mind” by Dr Wayne Dyer. It’s his interpretative meaning of the “Dow de Ching” which provides ancient wisdom on the nature of our existence. One of the chapters is titled “Living by Letting Go.” Not a coincidence that my intuition led me to this book! Now, please keep in mind, I’m going to give you an interpretation of someone else’s interpretation and picking out only what can helped me through my grieving process.
The concept that stuck out for me for the most is, In reality, there’s nothing to actually let go of because nothing is ours to keep. We don’t own anything or anyone. This was like fireworks going off in my mind! It was the very thing I needed in order to release myself from the pain. I didn’t have to let go, because I had nothing to let go of. What a powerful and freeing concept! The only thing we have to let go of now is the pain.
To live with peace in our heart and freedom in our mind, we must let go of all attachments. Most of our life is spent worrying, agonizing, even obsessing about attachments and what we think “belongs” to us.
Our ego teaches us this from birth. As babies we believe mommy belongs to us. As toddlers, we need every toy. As teens, we want more material items to build our ego. As adults… a job, spouse, kids… they’re all OURS like we own them! And then when we inevitably lose it, we’re in disbelief. We say things like:
I can’t believe this happened.
How could this happen?
Why did this happen?
There’s a very simple answer to all of these questions:
Because death is a part of life.
But death doesn’t have to be the end. In fact, spiritually speaking, there is no end because there is no death. It doesn’t exist. Our soul never dies. It just leaves our human body and our spirit lives on.
We don’t readily accept this concept in the beginning of our grieving, however. When we grieve the loss of a loved one and someone tells us they’re “in a better place now” we usually just wish we could punch them in the face. It doesn’t mean that we don’t truly believe that. What it means… is that we’re not ready to believe it yet.
We have to go through the grieving process first. We have to process through and release the guilt, the sadness and the anger. Then can we begin to see the sun through the clouds…. to Hope. Hope of a greater purpose and a bigger journey.
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